Till we meet again

7 November 2018, 1:41pm, Sunny.

Chocolate passed away peacefully in my arms.  It was a hard goodbye.

Our English Cocker Spaniel, Chocolate, lived passionately and courageously for 13 hearty years.  She lived a charmed life.  She was with us from the time we were 25 to our now 38-years-old selves.  We were inseparable. 

I can still hear the sound of her claws on our marbled floor, it was like a tap dance routine, how i missed them.  I can still see her being panicky about the thunderstorms, pacing tirelessly and pawing us relentlessly.  I also remember how i comfort her.

She understood what we couldn't and somehow took on the role of a best friend, a loving companion, a daughter, all within one beating heart.

The loss of a beloved pet is a strange feeling, united by an overall yearn for peace and a massive entanglement of grief.  Tissues become the plaster we need, yet the wonderful memories fill in all the blocks of pain and suffering.  It is a pattern of good and bad news, feeling intensely grateful and also immensely, fiercely bereaved. 

It's hard to come home knowing she won't be there anymore, but we also have a sense that there's a bit of her within ourselves, in her memory at the same time.  Her zealous spirit is captured in the heart of every human who met her and we are lucky to be a part of her life.  How could we not think to ourselves, "what a wonderful dog".

Forever is a long time, but we wouldn't mind spending it by your side.

Good-bye, our old old girl.  Till we meet again.  

New adventure

We are not a parent in the most traditional sense but would like to think that we can understand some semblance of a love like that.  Where the joy of another being is paramount to our own.

Chocolate is happiest when there's new adventure and we do our best to give her a happy life.

Happy Thirteen

For all the health scares and gazillion medical conditions that Chocolate has, we certainly felt blessed to have her with us and celebrate her THIRTEEN birthday.

Happy 13th Birthday, dearest dearest Chocolate love^^

Every day is a bonus

Every episodes of her getting sick, i will start to have a lot of maybes.  Maybe she picked up something bad during her walks, maybe it's the dog run, it's unhygienic, maybe it's that dog she interacted with earlier at the dog run, it may have infected her with something, maybe it's the floor detergent i use, harmful chemicals maybe, maybe it's me, maybe i contaminated her food unknowingly, maybe it's the choice of meat, maybe it's the liver, maybe we shouldn't start her on the vegan diet, maybe it's the beans, too much beans, a lot of maybes......  

Chocolate gave us a death-scare in 2016 and again this year.  Since July, it's antibiotics after antibiotics for severe skin bumps due to stress, eye infection, gastrointestinal problems with diarrhea and vomiting then most recently, vaginitis.  

Her health disparity was never meant for the weak-hearted, emotionally and mentally.  I am beyond grateful Chocolate has triumphed over yet another health calamity, i am grateful, even if there are many up and down moments.

Because everyday is a bonus with Chocolate.